The New Stuff of Legend: New Earth Shenanigans
by hawkerin
Summary: Very short descriptions of the week in New New York after the wedding in my New Stuff of Legends series. Follows Better with Three, third in the series.
1. Sunday

**Notes: These are SUPER short... they describe the week spent on New Earth after the wedding from the perspectives of their friends rather than Rose and the Doctors. I just needed a little break from rewriting all of series five in my other story. These are short and silly and I hope you enjoy them.**

Chapter One: Sunday

The day after the wedding and dinner (which had been interrupted by a giant, green slime monster controlled by nanobots), everyone figured that the honeymooners would want some time to themselves. So, their friends decided to make plans of their own in New New York.

These plans meant that Clara, Martha, Sarah Jane, Vastra, and Jenny were relaxing in the spa of their hotel. They had all enjoyed a lovely massage and were currently relaxing in a pool of warm water that contained some combination of revitalizing minerals. They had a spectacular view of the city from the broad window that took up an entire wall of the room.

"Do you think we'll see Rose and the Doctors at all this week?" Clara asked the others.

"If their honeymoon goes anything like mine did, not a chance," Martha replied with a sigh as she sank deeper into the warm, bubbling water.

"Hard to say with the Doctors though, normal isn't exactly their cup of tea," Sarah Jane speculated.

It was right about then, that a length of black rope unfurled right in front of the window. Rose came sliding down the rope, wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt. She held tight to the rope, considering they were on the twentieth floor at this height.

A moment later, a large creature resembling a giant bumblebee flew over to hover right in front of her. On its back, holding on for his life, was Doctor Alex Tyler. He shouted something to Rose that they couldn't hear through the windows and she activated her sonic screwdriver. The giant bee didn't seem to appreciate whatever she was doing and began to fly around erratically, almost shaking Alex off.

Much to everyone's relief, a flying car stopped right next to them and the door opened to reveal Evander. He pulled Rose into the car, handed something they couldn't identify to the bee, and caught Alex as he jumped into the car. The trio hugged happily before closing the door and flying off.

"Well, I guess that answers the question of whether they're having a normal honeymoon or not," Jenny stated, breaking the shocked silence that had come over the room since Rose's appearance.

"I don't wanna know," Martha said and dunked her head under the water briefly.


	2. Monday

**Notes: I hope you like these... I know they're short.**

Chapter Two: Monday

Jack invited Clara and Sarah Jane to accompany him to see a show on New Broadway. He picked them up at the door of the hotel room they were sharing for the week in the stylish blue suit he wore for the wedding. Both women had been shopping earlier in the day and were wearing brand new dresses for the occasion. Both knew they could have found something in the TARDIS wardrobe, but they enjoyed shopping in New New York.

They decided to see Cats, which was being performed by actual cat people. While they waited for the show to start, Jack told the ladies about the time that he performed in the musical himself, while spending some time in New York on Earth. He had been investigating some alien technology that was being used nearby for Torchwood and being a performer was the perfect cover story.

The lights dimmed and the show began, but every so often, they thought they could hear a faint beeping noise coming from different areas of the theatre. They dismissed it as someone's electronics that hadn't been turned off during the performance. That was until they saw Doctor Evander Tyler walking in front of the stage with some kind of scanning device in his hands. He stopped right in front of the orchestra pit and studied the device carefully.

A moment later, Doctor Alex Tyler swung down onto the stage, in the middle of the singing cats, holding onto a small black bundle in his arms. He shouted suddenly, "I've got it!"

Rose came running from side stage, calling, "Go! Go now!"

Alex and Rose jumped off of the stage to join Evander and the trio ran from the theatre. They were chased closely by a short, brown, leathery-looking alien. It was carrying a large, black gun, but didn't look like it would be able to keep up with professional runners like them, so their friends decided to let them take care of things themselves.

With a few confused shrugs, the show continued as if the interruption had never occurred.


	3. Tuesday

**Notes: A big thanks goes to my beta TheDoctorMulder for looking at these for me. Elensari seems to be busy right now, but I hope you guys are enjoying these! Please let me know :D**

Chapter Three: Tuesday

Sarah Jane, Vastra and Jenny decided to visit the museum on Tuesday. They were curious not only about what things from their times might have survived this long, but also what newer things constituted art now.

As they were strolling through ancient Earth relics, the Doctors and Rose dashed into the room, laughing heartily.

"I think we lost them," Alex told the others.

"Who are you upsetting now?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Sarah Jane! Fancy meeting you here. Oh, we just had to slip out of sight from the security guards. We may have upset them when we started correcting a few of the exhibits," Alex admitted and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, we couldn't exactly leave it when they had Elvis listed as a member of the Beatles," Rose defended.

While Rose and Alex were talking with Sarah Jane, Evander had wandered over to look at a nearby display while munching on Jelly Babies. Inside the glass case was an ancient scroll with unidentified writing on it.

"Oh, not again," Evander groaned. "Why does she always insist on leaving me messages in museums?"

"What is it, love?" Rose asked him as she peeked over his shoulder.

"Who's it from?" Alex wondered as he read the note.

"River," Evander said and rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm not leaving you two here, whether she's supposed to know you or not. We can adjust her memory or you can stay hidden deeper in the TARDIS, but this is our honeymoon and emergency or not, we're sticking together," he insisted.

"Are you sure you'll all be back in time to pick us up?" Jenny asked, knowing what the Doctor's accuracy was like with timing his landings.

"Don't worry, Jenny. With the three of us on it, we should be back before you even notice we've gone," Rose assured her. "And if she kisses either of you, I'll rip her hair out," she added confidently as she walked back towards the exit.

Both men followed her, Alex tugging on his ear and Evander fidgeting nervously before clasping his hands behind his back.

"I'm not sure who I'm more worried about, the Doctors or River," Jenny stated when they had gone.

"You don't think River would be more of a threat to Rose? She can be quite intimidating," Vastra commented.

"Who's River?" Sarah Jane questioned.

"Oh, she's the Doctor's dead wife," Jenny explained.

"Oh my goodness," Sarah gasped.

"I wouldn't worry, Rose can take care of herself and the Doctors wouldn't let anything happen to her either," Jenny said reassuringly.

"True, although we might well see one of them with a new face if things get out of hand," Vastra admitted.

"Good luck to them. Let's go see this Beatles exhibit that they were correcting," Sarah Jane said and headed toward the classical music section of the museum.


	4. Wednesday

Notes: And so, we reach the halfway point in this little story. I hope you're all enjoying this silly little interlude as my brain cooks up a new idea for this trio. I have to be careful not to dwell on the inspiration for too long or I'll never get anywhere with my other series.

Chapter Four – Wednesday

Mickey, Jack and Strax had spent Tuesday looking at electronics, mechanical parts and weapons in the marketplace, but decided to go to the arcade on Wednesday. Mickey and Jack were happily playing a game where they teamed up to shoot down attacking aliens, but Strax was becoming more and more frustrated with the lack of realism in the games.

He decided to try one more while he waited for the humans to finish their puny target practice. The game he chose was called "World Domination" and he put on the headset as he sat in the simulated tank. The description boasted about realistic explosions as you destroyed major cities and landmarks.

Strax was mildly amused as the tank and headset recreated the vibrations and sounds of ballistics and shockwaves. Jack and Mickey stood nearby and watched over his shoulder while he decimated the simulated world.

Doctor Alex Tyler suddenly appeared in the arcade and climbed on top of one of the games to get a better view of the room. "I can't see it!" he shouted to Rose, Evander, and River, who had also entered the arcade.

"Then we'll have to shut them all down," Evander called back to him.

"And how do you propose we do that?" River asked with her hands on her hips.

"Easy-peasy," Rose replied and twirled her sonic in her fingers. She marched over to a computer interface nearby and began typing at a blinding speed.

Alex jumped down from his perch and looked over her shoulder. "Brilliant, my love!" he exclaimed and kissed her cheek. "Setting seventy-three, equidistant around the room," he told Evander.

The trio arranged themselves at the games and activated their sonics. Almost immediately, the machines began to spark and smoke frighteningly. Several of them exploded with parts flying through the air.

When all of the games were permanently out of commission, Rose linked her arms with the Doctors and marched out of the arcade. River followed after them, shaking her head in frustration.

Strax chuckled happily as he removed the headset from his game and stepped out of the tank. "Oh, that was most satisfying. Shall we find another arc-ade to obliterate?" he asked Mickey and Jack.

"No, Strax. I think that's probably enough obliteration for one day," Jack replied.


	5. Thursday

Chapter Five – Thursday

Mickey and Martha walked hand-in-hand through New Central Park. Other than the grassy hill where the wedding had taken place, this was the first time they had seen any plants at all. The park they were in was enormous and filled with tall trees and a multitude of colourful flowers.

"This is beautiful!" Martha exclaimed and breathed the scent of apple grass and flowers deeply. "You definitely get points for finding a better place to explore on this planet than the Doctor did when he brought me here before."

"Well, unlike the Doctor, I'm not completely clueless when it comes to matters of the heart," Mickey boasted and pulled her in for a hug.

"It may have taken them forever to realize it, but at least they're all happy now," Martha sighed. The unrequited love she once felt for the Doctor had been difficult for her, but she'd gotten past that a long time ago now and was happy to see him back with Rose.

A nearby sewer grate opened suddenly and Alex climbed out, pulling Rose up behind him. They both looked back into the hole for a moment, then up at each other.

"On three... one, two, three," Alex instructed and they both activated their sonic screwdrivers down the hole.

There was a sound of splashing, followed by an indignant yell. Looking down once again, Rose and Alex tried to hold back their laughter... unsuccessfully.

Evander crawled out of the sewer, covered in green slime just as he had been on Saturday night. "Ha ha ha, very funny," he said, scowling at them.

"Well, at least we're sure that was the last of them now," Alex replied as he rubbed the back of his neck innocently.

"Come on, love. Let's go find a big, bubbly bath tub and clean you up," Rose added flirtatiously as she took his slime-covered arm and they started walking back towards the hotel.

As they watched the trio make their way down the curving paths out of the park, Martha couldn't help but ask, "Don't they ever stop for a break?"

"Not that I've seen. They've been running all over the place since we got here," Mickey answered.

"We might have to make an intervention and lock them in their hotel room to make sure they get a proper honeymoon," Martha laughed with a mischievous smirk.


	6. Friday

Notes: I know these are short, but I hope you guys like them. I've got too many ideas floating around in my head right now.

Chapter Six – Friday

"Well, we've been spending all our time apart from you three while we've been here. We just thought it would be nice to do something as a group," Jack told Rose and the Doctors.

Clara, Sarah Jane, Martha, Mickey, Vastra, Jenny, and even Strax had all come along with them as they approached their destination. Strax had a smile on his face that made Alex very suspicious of what they all might have planned.

"Where exactly are we going?" Alex questioned the group.

"Oh, just a little place Mickey and I discovered yesterday. We thought you might like it," Martha answered, dodging any real explanation.

"Right. That was very informative," Evander snarked.

Jack just laughed and guided them into the unmarked building. "Don't you worry about a thing. We've just reserved a space for a little... private party," Jack told them as Rose and her Doctors entered the indicated room and heard the door lock behind them.

"So, explain to me again, what's in there?" Clara asked.

"A bedroom. No windows, all the vents are too small to escape through and we are guarding the only exit. They're supposed to be on their honeymoon and those three have been chasing invaders all week!" Mickey told her enthusiastically.

"And what are we doing while we keep them locked up in there?" Sarah Jane wondered.

"Glad you asked," Jack replied with his megawatt smile. "Just across the hall here, is a fantastic little night club where we can enjoy ourselves. Strax, you're on guard duty!" Jack called over his shoulder as he led the rest of them to the bar.

"Sir!" he acknowledged and stood at attention in front of the door to the room where the Doctors and Rose were being held.

At first he heard laughter coming from inside the room, which he thought was rather unusual for prisoners, but the others had said that this was for their own good, so perhaps they enjoyed being detained. Strax dismissed the unusual response and remained alert for any signs that they might try to escape.

After some time, there were sounds of some physical exertion. Strax prepared himself in case they tried to suddenly break down the door, but no attempts seemed to be forthcoming.

In the bar, the Doctors' friends were having a fabulous time. Everyone was dancing to the pounding rhythm of the music and laughing at the joke they were playing on the newlyweds. Due to the flashing lights and carefree atmosphere, no one noticed the small canister of gas that was suddenly tossed into the middle of the dance floor or the men that had positioned themselves near the exits, wearing gas masks.

As the people in the bar all began to fall to the floor, unconscious, Jack cursed inwardly before his world went black.

Strax took notice when the sounds of music from the bar where the others had gone went silent. There were several indecipherable shouts from that direction and he decided that he should check to see if his friends needed any assistance. When he turned the corner into the establishment, Strax was ambushed, and with a quick strike to the probic vent on the back of his neck, he joined the other patrons in unconsciousness.

When everyone awoke several hours later, they saw a group of 5 men in black fatigues. Their arms were tied behind their backs, and they were being led away by police officers. Rose and her Doctors stood nearby with smug looks on their faces as they watched their friends pull themselves up off the floor.

"You're all lucky that we don't stay put," Rose told them and shook her head as she laughed.

"Do I want to know what that was all about?" Jack asked, rubbing his sore forehead.

"Don't worry about it. Taken care of. No harm done," Alex told him as he put his hands deeply into his pockets and began to stroll away. Rose and Evander followed him out and the others watched them go in disbelief.

"I don't think I'll ever understand anything that happens around the Doctors," Jenny admitted, leaning heavily on her wife's arm.

"That's probably for the best," Sarah Jane told her.

"One day left here. Plans anyone?" Jack asked the group with a smile.


	7. Saturday

**Notes: Last chapter of this little piece... I hope you liked it. It was rather silly and fluffy, but my stuff is generally fairly fluffy. Anyway... back to the serious stuff. I'm hoping to hold back my next idea for this trio until after I get through at least the series 5 rewrite part of my other series. Then I've got a huge story arc idea for these guys. But I'm not going to dwell on it even in my mind too much or I'll never get through the other story!**

Chapter Seven – Saturday

After the disaster of the night before, everyone decided to just spend Saturday lounging by the pool. Strax, of course, just stood by stiffly and scowled at Clara every time she splashed him.

They were discussing which restaurant they might all go to for supper, when Alex walked into the pool room, following the beeping of his sonic. He didn't even seem to notice that any of them were there as he circled the room, staring at his beloved device.

From another door, Evander entered, doing the same thing. They bumped into each other and looked up, startled out of their thoughts. Both Doctors looked around and glared at one another suddenly.

"Where is she?" Alex asked his husband.

"I thought she was with you," Evander replied.

Before anyone had a chance to respond to that train of thought, Rose burst through the doors that led to the outside patio and shouted, "Run!"

Everyone in the room heeded that warning as they followed the Time Lords out of the room and back to the TARDIS. They were followed closely by a troop of rather upset looking Judoon and didn't stop until the doors were shut tightly behind them.

"So much for dinner plans," Sarah Jane said exasperatedly.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that! Plenty of other places to go for dinner," Alex countered as he assisted his spouses in piloting their magnificent ship.

"With everything that's happened this week, I think I could use a bit of a break. Do you three think you can manage to get me home without too much trouble?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Of course we can, Sarah Jane. Best check on that boy of yours. It was Luke, right?" Rose reassured the older woman.

"Yes, well, he's away at school just now, but there are a few other friends in the neighbourhood that keep me busy enough as well," she replied with a fond smile.

"Not a problem. We'll get everyone back home, safe and sound. And we won't blow any holes in the universe while we're at it... today," Evander announced confidently.


End file.
